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Consequences Of A

Spring-And-Loop Theory:

The Greatest Story

YouTube [8min] | MP3 [8min]

by Floyd Maxwell, BASc

The Greatest Story

Recently someone published a physics book claiming to be "The Greatest Story Ever Told...So Far", and that got Spring-And-Loop Theory to thinking.

What makes a story great?

"The Greatest Story Ever Told..." names each section after a book of the bible, and begins each chapter with a biblical* extract.

Does a theosophic approach ensure greatness in storytelling?

Paint by numbers?

The story covers a vast subject with the broadest strokes.

Is broadness the key?

Should one paint with a Rolf Harris sized brush?

In that case

"The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich" must surely be a great story.

1,039 pages long, it dealt with the life and death struggles of tens of millions of people over several decades.

Yet it doesn't qualify, in part because of how grisly and morbid the subject area is.

But mainly as it wasn't the greatest story ever told ...because it wasn't even a story.**

Cue the clock

Growing desperate to understand at least the title of "The Greatest Story Ever (etc.)", the author's mind raced to think of other great stories.

This proved fruitless as he had not read any fiction for over forty years. Couldn't even understand why any one did.

Then he started to get what great storytelling involves.

The Fluoridation Story

Fluoridation is surely one of the greatest stories ever told.

It has been told without alteration for over sixty years, to an audience numbering in the billions.

It involves people from all walks of life, and of the highest reputation, talking about something vitally important.

Encyclopedic entries for "Retweet" and "Follow" should mention it as one of the earliest examples.

But again, sadly, fluoridation is not quite a great story. It certainly qualifies in the fictional component, but is altogether too one-sided.

More comparable to the words of Goebbels or Marx, it is so utterly unscrupulous in its dishonesty that Parents are Strongly Cautioned.

Fields of fields

Perhaps the field chosen was important.

Mentally flipping through Time "Man of the Year" covers, the author briefly imaged "The Greatest" in the world of sport.

Muhammad Ali's life was surely a great story. Maybe the greatest?

Humble beginnings, ups and downs and ultimately triumph (before tragedy), old C.C. had fought through it all.

Alas, old flaws reappeared. Ali was real, not fiction; the subject grim, not inspirational.

The World's Largest

Having reflected on current and relatively recent events, the author landed on one of the more impactful -est stories of his youth.

Allowed to visit the local Pacific National Exhibition on his own for the first time, the writer found himself at the tent of The World's Largest Man.

Incredibly one could see him sitting there, not five feet away.

He talked and moved like most people do, but he clearly was massive.

In fact, he had the rings to prove it. Silver and gold, each had the diameter of a silver dollar. And could be bought for just 5 (or 10).

The erstwhile Earth tracker emptied his travel purse and secured his relics. Wait 'til he showed his family!

Well, that proved to be less exciting than the advanced imagining had suggested. In fact it became The Most Angriest he had ever seen his father, as he transported both back to said PNE to secure a reverse transaction.

So that was a story... And involved an -est... But wasn't the EST.



Clearly there were one or more things the author just didn't get.

Maybe he was too close to the subject?

Well, that was easily remedied.

He could just poll a group of his friends.

Poll results?

Since "The Greatest Story Ever Told...So Far" involved the subject of physics, the poll question could be "What are your first thoughts when presented with the subject of physics, and the idea of a new and better theory (or model) of physics?"

The responses came quickly, and were not sparing in detail.

The most salient words said a new theory would be "simple", "should compare itself to other theories", and perhaps touch on real-world subjects like nuclear energy or perpetual motion.

In questions of science the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.
- Galileo Galilei

More poll thoughts

But there was more. So much more, the interviewer promptly regretted not having had a paper and pen handy at the outset.

There were two key things learned from this exercise. One was their mention of the word "humbleness", a word very dear to this scribe.

The other was an ommission.

Neither of them ever mentioned storytelling.

Both had a love of stories. Even fiction. One was reading an ebook when interviewed. The other was a recently published author, with auteuristic aspirations.

How could they not mention the importance of storytelling when "The Greatest Story" writer
had placed it right in the title?

Fiction tends to become "fact" simply by serial passage via the printed page.
- Anonymous


Then it hit home.

The Existing Mainstream Physics (tEmP) theories are the greatest story ever told because they have conned the most, for the longest, extracting the most, while providing the least. The most, as there have never been more alive at once than today, thus surmounting the past reach of Christianity's well-trodden storybook.

tEmP theories have fueled the faithful some 3,153,600,000 seconds -- a photon/spring cascade 1052 consecutive bumps long.

Perhaps only the Federal Reserve could claim a more mendacious pretext*** to obtain money.


Ever Bold

tEmP theorists, the greatest of great
mythologists, did all this storytelling
while befuddling the greatest number
of analectitions**** the world has ever known.

So far.





* - the use of biblical quotes and chapter titles is surprising, considering the author of "The Greatest Story Ever Told...So Far" is Jewish.

I read the Bible, I read the Quran, I read a bunch of things when I was a kid and went through phases where those myths appealed to me. And then I grew out of it, just like Santa Claus.
- Lawrence Krauss, in a
2012 interview

** - "The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich" is historical; a re-telling of events. Since events are innumerable, and without end, there can never be a greatest historical text. Seems a bit unfair, but rules are rules.

*** - 10% tithes, ironically religious themselves, not considered...

**** - Apparently Google does not even consider analectitions a word.

Analectics are presented as a reasonable field, even if they are relatively hit-less at just 797 Googles.

Hindi provided what might just be the greatest definition ever -- suitably ending our story with the word's Hindi meaning: stunning!




Is there a moral to be gained from this bestseller-bound chronicle?






The Speed Of Light   Black Holes   Einstein's Equation   The Ether   Gravity
222 Answers   The Atom   Quantum World   Neutrino   Black Holes Revisited
The Comedy Of Science   et=mc3   Comparing Physics Theories
Diffuse Interstellar Bands   Einstein's Ether Talk   No Strong Force
The Electron   Relativity   Unification   Assumptions   Modeling   The Greatest Story  

My Theory

Physics Quotes & Thoughts

Big Bang   Dark Matter/Dark Energy   Dogma   Forget The Fields   Math Sucks   Particle Physics   Peer Review   Standard Model   Star Gazing   String Theory   tEmP Theories/Theorists   The Control System   Trolls  


Spring-And-Loop Theory by Floyd Maxwell is licensed
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